Today I lit a fire in the living room with
old school papers and library receipts because
it was too cold to care if the fire alarm went off.
Today I drank an entire bottle of wine to myself
and lit three candles and smoked a pack of cigarettes
in two hours flat. Today I threw out three pens and wrote
poetry with the fourth even though it also barely worked, because
there wasn't anything else to do
and hasn't been in months.

Yesterday I did laundry at the college and forgot my clothes
in the dryer for twenty hours. Today I wore two sweatshirts
and tights under my jeans to try and keep warm.
Today the fire alarm woke me up and I couldn't muster the resolve to stand and take the batteries out,
so I went back to sleep.
Today I cried because this is my life and there's only one way to change that
and I was drunk.

Today is yesterday was yesterday was the day before.

Today I couldn't decide if going back to my parents was worse than being here
(at least they have heat).
Today I was too miserable to walk the dog or put on make up.
Today I went to sleep three times so that I didn't have to be awake.
Today I realized I am going to have to make do with every boy who makes spelling mistakes and doesn't read and doesn't give me anything except sex.

Today I felt more stuck every time I took another sip of wine.



Today I got so stuck I couldn't go to class or eat dinner
or get out of bed.
Today is yesterday
was yesterday
was the day before